Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
