yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
