i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
