Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
