So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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