I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
