i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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