Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
im holly from the hills drunk
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
