DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
