So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
even my farts smell like vagina
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
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