So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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