My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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