Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I understand Curling. That high.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
