doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
