Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
