I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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