I cockslap morals
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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