It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You made out with two different species that night
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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