i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Randomize
