I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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