i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
