Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
