ugly people sure do ruin things
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
