Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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