i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Your penis caused this!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
