yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
