Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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