Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
