I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
