who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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