the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
