Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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