I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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