I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
