some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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