He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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