check it out our google latitudes are spooning
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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