I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
