who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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