I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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