Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
