Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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