They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
