too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
