I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
