Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
