We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
