hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
