question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
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