you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
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