woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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