this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
