I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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