Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
